Our world has been one of ceaseless transitions for 29 years. We discovered that the transition from high school to adulthood is very different from all of the others. The difference comes from personal expectations, unwavering belief in our children, and dreams that we can change the world. This transition took a whole new level of acceptance.
The truth about transition planning from high school to the ‘real world’ is that it is a harsh reality.
The world is not ready for our autistic adults. Before the world can be ready, parents have to be ready; facing the harsh reality kind of ready. Parents need to accept that their adult may never ‘fit in’ to mainstream, may never be able to have a job, and in our case, not even find an appropriate placement at an adult day center. Families need to plan ahead for that scenario, just in case. That is what I considered worse case scenario for us.
I was not at all prepared for that scenario because of expectations and plans. I was counting on there being something because I had to have something. Then, Jess no more ‘fit in’ the last two adult classrooms she attended than she did her first classes in elementary school.
It literally took me 27 years to realize that she doesn’t ‘fit in’ anywhere except with family and friends. Having a dual diagnosis complicates things, but in general, the public still doesn’t have a good understanding of what is autism.
Interesting Point of Acceptance
My interesting point of acceptance is that I have accepted that there is not something. Eventually, I accepted that I tried everything and nothing worked. I accepted this is what it is. This is our life – everyday. It is our version of normal, and it is good. Nothing special nor grand. Not changing or saving the world. This time, I am leaving that for someone else.