It has been an unusual kind of week on the heels of a fun weekend. I have been given unexpected time off from Jess and from work. My accomplishments the first three days of this week have been greater than I could have imagined – and it feels great!
In my previous post, “Learning To Say, I Need Help,” I divulged my recent struggles at length – how I had been down and had isolated myself – then, how I had pushed myself to get back up and get back out into the world. I won that battle once again.
Jess was away for the weekend.
Jess is autistic, blind and developmentally delayed. Every other weekend she visits her dad and his mom. This week, Jess is getting some bonus time away from home. Naturally, this is a bonus for me too. She came home Sunday night and stayed through Tuesday afternoon. Then, she left for her weekly overnight visit to my parents’ house. Yesterday evening, Jess got picked up from there by her Audrey and her mom for a sleepover. She was so excited!
Today, Jess will be delivered to her Granny, who will be taking Jess to be a nurse for Aunt Sue. This is her favorite thing in the world to do. She will be there through suppertime. These breaks from Jess are good for me. The house is quieter and more peaceful. I am interrupted so much less and can be more productive with everything, including house work and house organization.
I love organization and structure – things being clean and in their place.
You know how when you feel bad, sick, down, tired or whatever, that last thing you want to do is clean house or work on home improvements? I live a lifestyle of perpetually being behind. However, even with bonus time off, goals for accomplishments often get moved to the back burner. I want to use that time to rest and recover. Consequently, being behind just becomes another factor that contributes to feeling overwhelmed, and that weighs me down.
Quite honestly, I haven’t had all things in their place since my last move, 10 years ago. Especially in the last two years, I have been working on a DIY room by room remodel of the entire house. As I have done so, literally I have had to move entire rooms into other rooms and then shuffle stuff to the next room for the next project.
The transformation of the house has been amazing; it just feels like forever. The length of time it is taking is a combination of many factors. It is not only because of feeling down, tired, etc., but it is also work, family, holidays, trips, and resources.
Speaking of resources…
I have been out of work this week. It is certainly unfortunate, but it has given me time to focus on some house projects that I have desperately needed to make progress on. With Jess having not been here and me not working, I have cleaned out, put away, and uncluttered. With some help from a handy man, closet organizers have been installed, furniture has been painted and put into place, a shelf has been hung up, curtains, art, a new light fixture, etc. Last week, my helper cleared out my jungle of a backyard that had grown up with weeds like never before. He cut down a tree that was dying in my front yard.
It feels great to get so much done!
Each and everyone one of these accomplishments is therapeutic for me. At the end of the day, yesterday, I kept going to the doorways of the bedrooms I had been working on and just standing there and looking at them. Clean. Everything in place. Ahhh… Well, at least in those two rooms.
Today, I will take another big step for my health and well-being.
I am going to go to a gym and sign a contract. For a long time, I kept saying that I couldn’t join a gym because I didn’t have time. Because, I didn’t want to leave Jess home by herself. I realized recently that my excuse for not joining a gym was not a valid one.
For example, this week, I see that I could have gone to a gym Saturday, Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Almost every week, I have two Jess free days. Then, every other weekend, I have two Jess free days. Even though that may not end up being as much available time as I would like to commit to an exercise routine, the best thing for me is to go to the gym on the days that I can. Period.
Today is another day out of work, so I will make the best of it.
After joining the gym, I will run a few errands and make an appointment to fix a life-threatening recall on my car – something I’ve been putting this off for over a year. Later, I’ll face dreaded paperwork, personal filing, cleaning out old papers and shredding, and that kind of fun stuff.
So far, I haven’t even been tempted to just take a day off and rest. That is something I do on the weekends, and these accomplishments are leaving me feeling so great that I am sure it is better than just resting.